Behind the Scenes of Peregrine: A Journey Through Vessels
The end of February approached & so far in 2024 , I had experienced not much more than uninterrupted failure. Project after project, hours of work ending in unrepairable cracks, unusable pieces & a dark cloud over my artistic aura. I had put a ridiculous amount of time into a beautiful, highly ornate tea set complete with a full "Garden of Eden" inspired tea pot and tea cups nestled into ceramic flower peddles... only to have the pyrometric cone explode in firing, ruining nearly the whole set with its shrapnel.
I had made this set for the approaching NCECA; however, in the final hour, I had to decline submitting it & frankly, I was disappointed. I moved forward & applied for Clay Windows of Richmond. My thought was that I would get a small shop window that I could place some random pieces that I already had. The tide changed & I was asked to make a series of large pieces for the window front of one of the largest donors to the art exhibition. I was aware of how insane it was to accept, given the nearly impossible timeline associated with the task, but I couldn't give up the opportunity. So, in just 21 days, I put together Peregrine, logging over 200 hours (on top of my full time job as an RN). Did all turn out exactly as I envisioned? Absolutely not. Did many, and I mean MANY things go wrong? You betcha... 2 of the 6 vases exploded into smithereens in the kiln.... But I gotta tell ya, so many things went well. I mades theses vases having no idea how I would find a kiln big enough to fire them & was met with generous community assistance (thank you Dave, Camden Clayworks). Some may say the universe was lining things up (I like to think it was God) & after those long 21 days, the 4 vessels that comprise Peregrine were born, & here is their story:
"The Peregrine"
In 2020, I was a COVID nurse,
angry, depressed, hopeless.
my therapist suggested
an art exercise
where I scribble on a page,
the intensity & pressure,
an allusion to my own inner emotions.
The years have gone by
& the healing has layered itself over those
scribbles on my soul.
showing just how far
I've come along.
This piece consists of multiple layers of design & can be almost overwhelming. The base is a never-ending jumble of scribbles - the pit of mental illness, scrambling one's mind to see only pain & suffering. Next, broad strokes form interconnected circles- the first layer of healing, smoothing the lines & putting together some pieces. Finally, gold chains adorn the Peregrine completed with medallions painted with flowers, the garden blooming from the healing. This garden does not replace the chaos underneath, but adorns it-showing progress within the story.
"The Muses"
Mom, Rachel, Nancy, Muriel, and Maxine:
Thank you, you beautiful
women, for sharing this
thing we call
womanhood with me.
So many women have helped shape me. My mother, my sister, my husband's mother, all giving me a road map on womanhood. Interestingly enough, I believe even my ancestors have influenced the process as well.
My great grandmother, Maxine, a legend in my family, who felt bored by the 1950's housewife duties, voiced her interest in "men's topics", was known for her sense of humor, her child-like wonder (even in her octogenarian years), & the charity & dedication of taking in & raising her grandson (my father). Although she died when I was only 11, I see her guidance in my journey.
Guiding me alongside her is my other grandmother, Muriel. Her photograph hangs in my studio, watching over me as I create. She was an artist & musician, I attribute my interest in art & music to her persistently providing me with opportunities. When pondering who my muse is, the answer is always her.
"Metanoia"
The difference between
religious & relational,
spiritual & superstitious,
is the quiet,
frivolous moments
where presence
is shared.
I, unfortunately, was exposed to "bad Christianity" for the majority of my childhood. As an adult, I still believed in God, but was hurt by Christianity. I didn't understand how to separate God from the crappy Christians I knew. Becoming a potter helped my bridge that gap. The Bible calls God "The Potter" & us "the clay" . I find it easier to connect with God as I work with day & understand His love for me better as I create & love my own creations.
"Burgeon"
Little by little,
inch by inch,
moment by moment,
I take these
tangled lines
& see
what I could not before.
I have found my self in my art. I have been a creative since I was able to hold a pencil, but my interest in art was piqued when I began to study Picasso & Matisse. I studied Picasso's one line, abstract drawings & began integrating this technique into my style. The grotesque yet beautiful nature of the one line faces identified with me & helped me to see myself in those lines. There is also an allusion there to how we have to look through the mess on our journey through mental health to find unconventional beauty.
